It sounded completely ridiculous to me the first time I heard it, but perhaps the call to parliament to reform lap dance laws is not such a bad idea!!
The concern is that lap dance clubs are actually part of the sex trade world of the UK, but have managed, through a loop hole in the laws, to apply only for cafe licences. Then perhaps it is the language used that is funny, not the intent. What parliament is being asked to do is to pass a law that requires these clubs to apply for "sexual encounter licenses."
Hum, does anyone else think that perhaps we need a new name for it??
I hope this woman is kidding :(
Nicola McLean asked if there was any chance she could get pregnant after eating kangaroo testicles on I'm A Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here!
The glamour model made the gaffe after successfully completing the latest Bush Tucker Trial.
The challenge saw her triumph over ex-EastEnder Joe Swash as she chomped on crocodile eyes, crickets, a crocodile foot, silkworms and a kangaroo's testicle.
A confused Nicola later told her campmates that she had eaten crocodile testicles and it was then that she shared her worries with them.
She told Esther Rantzen: "I asked Ant and Dec whether the ball bag was full of semen and it is! So I swallowed crocodile semen. I asked if I could get pregnant. It's so bad, it was so tough."
Well, we read all about the really bad kissers, but here's a guide to really gooooood kissing. Take note, you nibblers out there :) (And, no, I did not make this up, and yes, there are people out there who do not have enough to do!)
reat Breath - This is very important. Make sure you brush your teeth before going out on your date. There is nothing worse than kissing someone with bad breath. If your date consists of having something to eat before the actual kiss, make sure you have a mint on hand to take right after you finish eating. Don't take the mint just before the kiss or chew on gum. You don't want to have something in your mouth when you kiss. Moist Lips - You want your lips to be slightly moist when you kiss. Run your tongue over your lips once before you kiss. Don't wear lip gloss because that tends to make the kiss too gooey. And don't wear a lot of lipstick unless you want your partner to wear it too after the kiss. Slightly moist lips makes it easier to move your lips over your partner's and gives both you and your partner a more pleasant experience. Positioning - Stand close to your partner. As the two of you move closer together tilt your head slightly to one side. If you don't, don't worry about it. Your partner will still tilt their head slightly so your lips meet on a slight angle or they will kiss you straight on. If you can see which way your partner's head is tilting, tilt your head slightly in the opposite direction. Close Eyes - Just before your lips meet, close your eyes. Some people prefer to leave their eyes open during the kiss. But until you know what your partner prefers, it is best to close your eyes. Kissing with your eyes open, looking into one another's eyes while you kiss, can be very erotic and some people find it quite enjoyable. You may want to try kissing this way once you're more comfortable kissing your partner. Open Lips - Open your mouth slightly and place your lips over your partner's lips. Do not hold your breath! Breath through your nose. As your lips meet, press them gently over your partner's. You may wish to move your lips in a slow, circular motion or just leave them still over your partners. Closed Lips - This is like the type of kiss you'd give your grandma or aunt. Instead of opening your mouth when your lips meet, keep them closed. This is also a good way of letting your partner know this is as far as it goes. It also makes a great hello/good-bye kiss or a great first time kiss if you're nervous. Hands - There are many ways you can use your hands during a kiss. The most popular way is to put one hand on your partner's waist and the other one against the middle of their back. Other ways to use your hands are to cup your partner's face in your hands (very romantic!), put them around your partner's neck, put them around their waist, hold your partner's upper or lower arms gently, run your finger's through their hair, or just hold their hands in yours. French Kissing This is the most popular type of kiss. This involves touching your tongue with your partner's and it can be quite a pleasant experience. There are a few tips to create a great French kiss. Relax - You lips should be relaxed, you body should be relaxed, otherwise it will be like kissing a dead fish for the other person. There are only two things involved in a French kiss: your lips and your tongue. That's it! Open Lips - Your lips should be slightly parted, not open wide like you're at the dentist. Open them just far enough, just like you are regularly breathing through your mouth. Positioning - Do not have your face dead on to his/hers, otherwise your noses will touch. You want to move your head to one side just enough so your nose is out of the way of theirs. If you think about it then, with your head tilted one way and his the other way, your mouths will not reach dead on. Your mouths will meet at the corner of the other's mouth. It will look like the below picture:  If you look closely at the picture, you will see that their noses will actually touch the cheek of the other person. Their lips have already touched. When you touch the other person's lips and you stretch your tongue out a bit, your mouths will instinctively open as much as the couple in the picture. Tongue - Practice on your own if you'd like. Open your mouth enough (while you're by yourself of course!) just enough to stick a bit of your tongue out. It will go past your teeth. Don't stick your entire tongue out... just an inch or two. That is how far you should stick your tongue out in a kiss. So your tongue will go into their mouth and theirs will go into yours. When this happens, both of your tongues will touch. Then just circle the tip of your tongue around the tip of theirs. If they do something different (because you have to remember that everyone kisses differently so some may move their tongue around a bit differently) then just do the same as they do. They may flick their tongue over yours and you can do the same. Or they explore the inside of your mouth with their tongue, do the same thing! Or you can just lightly touch their tongue while they are exploring. The best thing is to NOT just leave your tongue doing nothing. As for movement of the head, that is entirely up to you. Some people will move their heads very slightly in a small circular motion or figure eight. Sometimes they won't. Sometimes just one person moves their head and the other doesn't. It's totally up to you. You may explore different ways of using your tongue. Try running the tip of your tongue over your partner's lips. Do this slowly and gently, just using the tip of your tongue.
You have to wonder who feels like this is a good use of money and just how many condoms they will use!!!
An Australian holiday resort will hold a month-long, nude "anything goes" party to combat an expected economic downturn, media reports said on Thursday.
"Tough economic times call for stiff measures," Tony Fox, the owner of the White Cockatoo resort in Mossman, in tropical Queensland state, told the Courier-Mail newspaper.
"It will be a hedonism resort, where anything goes for a month. It doesn't take rocket science to work out what it means," Fox said, naming March as the risque party month.
The controversial "clothes optional" resort made headlines three years ago when police were called to end partner-swapping parties after a swathe of public complaints.
"You've got to wonder what sort of people go and why. Where is the moral code of behaviour and how do you stop jealousies and fights?" Cairns Catholic Bishop James Foley said after Fox's announcement.
But local regional Mayor Val Schier said she was not opposed to the event as long as no laws were broken.
"People in tropical north Queensland are extraordinarily creative," Schier said. "It is tough economic times and as long as it is with consenting adults, then there is no problem."
Australia's tourism in industry is being hit hard by global economic turmoil with official figures showing a 7.6 percent decline in overseas visitors in September.
Fox said his resort was almost fully booked for the month-long rainforest party.
In spite of writing the condom book, I have long felt that the AIDs and STD crisis that has been growing for so many decades has spawned an industry that may in deed not really want to "cure" the problem, given how much money there is in working "with" it. In a new book, that is just what the author has to say...and a whole lot more!
Elizabeth Pisani's newly released book, The Wisdom Of Whores, gives an insider's view of the bloated Aids industry and it literally has a lot to do with sex and drugs.
In town last month to promote her work, the London-based 44-year-old epidemiologist is as unflinchingly honest in real life as she is in the book. The former Economist journalist, who spent more than 10 years tracking and fighting the spread of the disease in organisations such as the World Bank, UNAIDS and the World Health Organisation takes no prisoners as she attempts to pin down exactly what is wrong with the system.
Acquired immune deficiency syndrome (Aids), she says, is 'completely preventable' with a condom and a clean needle. The HIV virus, which causes it, is spread mainly through sex, and drug addicts using infected needles.
But bureaucrats, religious leaders and politicians are squeamish about providing or promoting the use of the two relatively cheap items. Some even insist on making abstinence central to HIV prevention programmes.
'But discouraging sex is never a winning game. Sex is a lot of fun and people will go a long way to get it,' she says.
'Abstinence has no effect on preventing the spread of HIV. It sometimes delays the spread of HIV by about a year and a half, but it doesn't seem to have any effect at all on the overall levels of HIV.'
She also pokes fun at unrealistic pro-abstinence groups, one of which suggests on its website that people 'visit a nursing home' instead of having sex.
'Hmmm, visit a nursing home or have an orgasm? Now let me see...If we base our prevention programme around things which are so obviously absurd, we're going to get nowhere,' she declares.
'Absurd' is also the word she uses for the Singapore Government's move earlier this year to criminalise anyone who has reason to believe that he may be infected with the HIV virus and yet has sex with another person without first informing that person of the risk.
She says: 'I can't imagine a situation when you're in Batam for the weekend with your golf buddy and you're in the brothel, and you think: Oh, you know what, actually I won't have sex with this girl because otherwise if I don't tell my partner I might get into trouble. Or I will use a condom because otherwise...People don't think like that. It's impossible to regulate your way out of this problem.'
'Nothing,' she declares, 'gets in the way of common sense like erections and addiction.'
In her book, she suggests instead that the enforcement of condom use be put in the hands of those in power. The Thai government, for example, registered great success when it threatened to put out of business brothel owners who were lax in enforcing the use of condoms.
The scientist in her will not let political correctness get in the way of plain facts.
While she is derisive of religious zealots who try to paint Aids as a gay disease, she is equally critical of gay men who are lax in their use of condoms.
She writes in her book: 'HIV is not divine retribution for unprotected anal sex with lots of other people. It is simply a consequence of unprotected anal sex with lots of other people, in the same way that lung cancer is a consequence of smoking, and obesity is a consequence of eating fast food, drinking supersized Cokes, and getting in your truck to drive the 800 yards to church instead of walking.'
In Singapore, where heterosexual sex is the main source of HIV infection but gay sex accounts for the fastest-rising source of reported cases, 'the gay community should be very worried', she tells The Sunday Times.
'To say 'Oh, this isn't a gay problem' doesn't help reduce the stigma because in the end what you get is more disease.'
However, she notes that Section 377A of Singapore's penal code, which criminalises sex between men, makes it more difficult for gay men to seek the information they need to protect themselves.
Globally, the budget for Aids in developing countries has grown from a mere US $300 million (S $449 million) a year in 1996 to US $10 billion last year, but vast amounts of money are wasted because governments, for ideological or political reasons, are not focusing enough attention on the groups which need them most - gay men, sex workers and drug injectors.
For example, the United States, which budgeted US $4.2 billion for HIV in developing countries this year, does not allow federal funds to be used on clean needles for drug injectors.
Wastage also stems from the fact that many countries prioritise Aids treatment over other equally or more pressing health threats.
'Why should someone with HIV get free treatment when someone with lung cancer doesn't? The reason that distortion exists is because there is a massive international lobby for free HIV treatment. So developing countries, where a big proportion of the health budget comes from donors - and Indonesia is a classic case - very often spend a big proportion of their health budget on HIV.'
Asked about the provocative title of her book, she paid tribute to the transgender sex workers on the streets of Jakarta who provided her with the greatest insights after she went there seven years ago to work on HIV prevention.
She mentions in particular Ms Ines Angela, a sex worker in Jakarta who pointed out that surveys on sex workers were skewed because researchers were interviewing the least active individuals.
Ms Pisani relates, with a chuckle: 'She said, 'Any sex worker who is on the street talking to a research team is a sex worker who is not with a client... I'm never on a street corner, I'm with a client.'
'And I was like...she's right. Oh dear.'
After that, surveys on the sex workers were conducted through their internal hierarchies, with each district's leader gathering interviewees at her home in the daytime, when they were not working.
The other reason for Ms Pisani's choice of title is somewhat more grim. The budget to fight HIV/Aids worldwide has ballooned almost disproportionately in relation to the number of people suffering from the infection. The number of people living with HIV rose by 38 per cent between 1996 and 2006, but spending on HIV in developing countries surged 2,900 per cent over the same period.
This money, in turn, has attracted groups - some not entirely relevant to the cause - into vying for a piece of the pie.
She reflects: 'After nearly 15 years in this ever-better funded industry, more and more money is sloshing around, and more non-governmental organisations, United Nations organisations and international organisations are jumping into the cause. You see people bending over backwards to get HIV money. In the Aids industry these days, we're all whores.'
In the Humble Little Condom, I note that during WWII, two of the only non-rationed items in the UK were condoms and beer. The "ration ministers" felt that these items were too important to morale - of military and civilians - to be limited. If what is happening in this crazy economy today is anything to go by, those old guys had a clue!
With all the insecurity in the world today, two things are selling like hotcakes, ensuring handsome profits to those lucky companies helping us all to feel good.
In the US, Trojans are selling at a much higher rate than they have in years, and beer makers and distrubutors are making a killing. In the UK, Durex is flying off the shelves, and though some pubs are feeling the squeeze, store sales of alcoholic beverages are soaring.
And according Newsweek, this financial phenomenon has spread to some other feel-good "professions"; lap dancers, lady masseuses, and "others" are doing nicely, thank you! Some of those interviewed told the reporter that they are making great money...and sending it home to fathers and brothers (plumbers, construction workers, etc) who've gotten the sack because of the downturn in the economy. What a weird weird world!!
http://condomunity.com/
From my latest article for codomunity.com:
During history’s headiest, and certainly most expensive, political campaign, Republican candidate John McCain was asked "Do you think contraceptives help stop the spread of HIV?" McCain‘s answer to the reporter who asked the question? After a long pause, all he could come up with was "You've stumped me." This led the most important pro-birth control organization in the US to hand out specially made condoms to political delegates, with a label that read “Protect yourself from John McCain.”
We will never know if perhaps those Humble Little Condoms did help get Barrack Obama elected, but the fact that he is being touted as America’s “First African American” president does beg the question, “Is he in tune to his own community when it comes to condom use?” or more accurately, lack of condom use?
If not, he needs to be. American blacks have the highest rate of STDs, to include HIV/AIDS, of any group in the US or any other Western nation for that matter, and the numbers just keep getting worse. Just days before the election, the Center for Disease Control announced that 48% of black girls between the ages of 14-19 have an STD; black women suffer the highest rate of syphilis, gonorrhea, and HIV of any group; about 70% of all American women who suffer from HIV/AIDS are black; AIDS is amongst the top three leading causes of death for black women.
Black men suffer even higher numbers: AIDS has doubled in that population in the 2000s; 2/3 of the black men who die while in prison suffered from HIV; from just 2006 to 2007, STD rates went up over 12% in black men. In other words, African Americans make up 12% of the US population, but they represent 50% of all AIDS cases in the US.
But what is a new president to do? Perhaps he should ask Pastor W. James Favorite, a courageous preacher whose church was built right after the American Civil War by freed slaves for freed slaves, a fact he believes makes it a very special place for his particular ministry. Those slaves believed they could, with God’s help, bring themselves out of slavery, and into the mainstream, enjoying the same rights and priveleges as whites. That, sadly, has not always been the case.
Favorite serves one of the many many poor black communities in the American South - he is in Tampa, Florida, where 1 in every 85 residents is HIV positive - and besides trying to get his own flock to understand the need to practice safe sex, he preaches to his own, going place-to-place to try to get his fellow pastors to take their heads out of the sexual sand. At one such meeting, he realized just how hard that was going to be, given he could not even get most of them to say the word ‘condom.’
As Favorite addressed a group of black pastors from around his state, he went where angels fear to tread, telling them that they had all taken the naive view that:
“It’s not here, not in our churches.” But, “Then we found members of our congregations dying. We didn’t even want to shake their hands.“
So what did Favorite propose?
“How do we bring into our teaching the use of condom? We believe abstinence is the answer, but there are those who will not listen. We have to tell them that the least they can do is use a condom.”
The response from these erstwhile gentlemen?
Silence was the stern reply.
But why, when they know that in their pews every Sunday sit parishioners, young and old, suffering from HIV/AIDs, are these men so reluctant to follow Favorite’s example of speaking plainly to his flock, quite literally to save their lives? Because they believe that the Bible says it all. Don’t do it unless you are married!
But Favorite is doing his best to teach his fellow preachers that the message is not getting through and that they are not serving their God as he would intend until they did everything they could to help make African Americans healthy again.
Hopefully Barack Obama will show the same courage when it comes to sex education, not just for blacks, but for all Americans, instead of following in other American presidents’ painful footsteps: when AIDS reached America’s shores, Ronald Reagan did everything he could to prevent the message of prevention from reaching Americans. Both Presidents Bush have pathetic records in that regard. But given the sad state of black health in that country, along with the connections the new president holds with the center of the AIDS epidemic - Africa - we can only suppose that Obama is a big fan of condoms and his policies will reflect that “fact.”
From Yahoo's "love expert," I am glad I have only met one of these icky kissers!!
The Vampire Lip-Sucker
When my date Andrew first started biting and sucking on my lower lip, I tried to redirect the kiss by going for his upper lip. But when he kept doing it and my lip began to throb, I pulled away with a not-so subtle, “Ow.” He didn’t take the hint and with each tug, my lip grew rawer. The next day, at a family barbecue, everyone wondered why I had a purple lower lip.
Sure, a soft bite on the lip can be a turn on, but 10 in a row can leave your date looking like she got punched in the mouth. The first sign of a bad kisser is the inability to respond to feedback (sorry, Andrew; it’s true). If you’re not getting a positive response, don’t be afraid to stray from a move that you thought worked on someone else. Bad kissers often make the mistake of hoping you’ll grow to like whatever weird thing they’re doing. This almost never works and almost always leaves your lover bemoaning your inexperience.
The Speed Racer
Another common attribute of a bad kisser is out-of-sync kisses that don’t match the other person’s rhythm. Just as relationships are about finding a happy medium, kissers should try to conform to a mutual speed. The one time I kissed Sean, he threw on a Prodigy album, and then proceeded to kiss me faster than the driving techno beat. When he wouldn’t slow down, I politely grooved my way right out his door.
I have a tongue, too, thank you
Tom was a good-looking, smart guy who played guitar and opened every door for me, but he also had a knack for filling my entire mouth with his imperialistic tongue, which completely crushed mine as it recklessly reached for my tonsils. No matter what I did, I couldn’t remove it, mostly because my own tongue seemed to have disappeared.
Lots of oral offenders’ tongues make the mistake of setting up permanent residence in their dates’ mouths. The tongue should be about playful give and take: Tease, then pull back. If that gets a positive response, venture a little further, but never leave your date thinking, “What the heck happened to my tongue?” or “Red alert: Suffocation setting in!”
Mr. Hoover
Mr. Hoover is the opposite of the previous smoocher—he likes to suck your tongue right out of your mouth and hold onto it. If your date’s entire head is unwillingly following yours because you’re holding her tongue hostage, that’s probably not a good thing. Tongue suction is tricky. Unless you know exactly the amount of suction to exert and the duration to hold your partner’s tongue captive (Hint: it’s not five minutes), you’re treading into Bad Kisser Land.
The Cheek-Licker
Licking or lapping your date’s cheek will leave him or her either (a) grossed out or (b) laughing. Licking people’s faces isn’t hot. (I don’t care if your girlfriend at school loved it; she was one in a million, maybe 100 million.) When it comes to kissing, the tongue should make contact with two — and only two — places above the shoulders besides the mouth—the neck and the ear. But if you shoot for these erogenous zones, don’t overdo it.
Ladies, you can be bad, too
From the above, you may get the impression that I think only guys can be bad smoochers. Not at all! Though men get all the bad press for not caring about kissing, many guys like it and expect some creativity… and are disappointed by what the women they date dish out. “I’ve been with women who are repetitive kissers—they kiss with the same motion over and over again,” complained one male friend. “It’s like you’re on a four-second loop but you can’t break it.”
My male friends’ most important piece of advice—kiss like you mean it. “A heartless kiss makes for bad kissing,” explained another guy friend. It feels like she doesn’t want to be kissing you, he said, “and that’s really annoying.”
So, ladies and gentleman, realise that if your date kisses you once and doesn’t want to continue, it may well be for a reason. And it usually has nothing to do with your GCSE results. Kissing is one of the biggest deal-breakers in early dating, so drop the misguided moves or your dates will drop you. Here’s an added incentive—good kissing can make other faults forgivable. I once went out with a guy who had no car and no job, but soft lips and the most amazing kiss. We dated happily for a while… until he dumped me. Oh, well. A good kiss can’t compensate for everything.
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